It's been awhile since I've even looked at this place let alone thought about writing. When I first created this blog I was almost a different person, over the years I've been gone, I have still been down from life in general, lost my reason for doing a lot of things including prepping. I am still a survivalist in working on the same skills to master to be able to sustain myself in an outdoor situation which is what I wanted in my arsenal of skills.
I realize writing this may have no meaning to anyone who is reading, but at one point I think I had readers, I haven't seen any responses to any posts when I did them so it didn't give me much of a want to continue.

debating shutting down this blog... but I plan on making a new one about other things. something I feel less obligated to stay on one subject. one about me and one where I do not bother with anonymity, and yet I do not plan on linking it here. so perhaps there will be another post here later on. If so I will talk to you then, sorta.

Walking dead, still awesome.

I haven't read the graphic novels at all. but this show is the shit. and at the end ( spoiler  stop here if you don't wanna know ) seeing the prison, I have said before among my friends that a prison would be the best place to go during any kind of disaster, and mainly a zombie outbreak, the prisoners more than want to get out. These places have a full stock of food and water. with generators, everything to keep prisoners from rioting and keeping them inside. I have been inside a prison slightly, I was applying for a job at one, I didn't get the job, and I did not get very far into the prison. but the security was quite well done as it should be. solid walls and so forth.

Ultimate survival tools

These days I've had without a car have been a big learning experiance for me, relying on walking to get to the stores and bank making me realise how important a good pair of shoes are and how much mine have been hurting my feet recently.

You may realise it isn't in good prepper sence to not have food stocked up for situations even like this however its been nearly two months. And I've known that I had a limited supply of food after the wife and I splitting when she took most of the food also the difference is my lack of cooking now. Where I live and who I live with here the kitchen is nasty and I do not cook in it and I do not clean it. So I stay hidden in my room with easily microwaveable things with just my microwave and minifridge in my room. With that I've had limited things to eat. So tonight I stocked up a bit on dry easy to microwave foods though they are not entirely healthy.

So ultimate survival tools back to this, my car broke down so I'm relying on my feet, I rely on most of all my body and mind and you should do the same, you may have a bug out vehicle but it too could also break down, or you could run out of fuel even with your stores of it. The main problem with prepping is time. Unless your stores outlive you, Then you will run out.

2012

A new year, with it brings new beginnings, I continue to be tested in my life, have it all taken from me, and I will always rise up from it and continue on. You can have one or one hundred things go wrong in your life somehow going through those things will make your life better in the end. my wife leaving put me on medications, true this now gives me a reliance on something that might become in short supply. but I have about 3 months supply now. This medication levels out my mood a lot which was apparently needed with my relationship with her. I am not mad at her for leaving and I understand why she did, I just wish it could have been resolved in a way where she could have stayed.

Beyond her leaving around the same time I lost my job, moved to another job, and then someone threw a rock through the window of my car, then a month or so later the car just broke down. I am currently having to drive my mothers car delivering food. I never have claimed I had a good job, but I wasn't killing vehicles doing the job. 

I have looked towards getting other jobs, or pursuing other options, I have not yet found one suited for me. The medication I am not on also seems to limit me on options because now people see me as diagnosed crazy. 

The good things I can say, I still have a job, I am still making money ( root of all evil in this society) and living the only way I can at this point in time. later on I will start  writing about actual survival stuff again. Also even being as I am I will always plan a camping trip this year, and it has been a truly mild winter. I hope spring will be a good time to go out to the mountains and throw up my hammock and relax some.

Not dead.

I know I left the whole 7 people reading this hanging. but I went through a lot in my life right at the time of my last post. my wife left me, yes after only half a year of marriage. had to move out of the apartment, lost all storage space really, most food stores are go on so on so forth. prepping is down to day one really. I still have a few of my toys with me but had to split most of my things between where I am staying, with a friend paying him for a room, and split where my mother lives right now. I haven't written anything just for fact of not having anything to write. still looking for a possible co author.

Tough life

This post will very slightly... but this is my place so grin and bare it.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs its a pyramid it starts on the bottom. Level by level it tells of a persons needs, how they relate to ones survival and then to their well being, not just surviving but thriving.

physiological needs without these you cant live, air, water, food
next comes to safety, ( no dancing please ) this is what most preppers think about, in your home, psychological, so on so forth. I have this completely I feel safe.. but perhaps I have not been providing it properly for another..

this next need is love, belonging, if you are safe and only then can you love.. I love a lot, here in lies my current problem, it is between these two needs.  my love is complete, I know who I love, I know how to love. and its a damaging thing... but it isn't.. its a need, you need to love yourself you need to have love of others without it you are just surviving.

after love he puts esteem which I believe just goes in with love.. having self esteem and self respect is just love for yourself

after all this.. self actualization. I don't have a good one for this honestly so you get text book
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs

lets hope my life..